I've been thinking, if i go blind (or my vision gets worse), all my hopes and dreams and everything ive fought for is gone. I couldnt fly, and id be torn apart inside. Ive had 3 operations on my eyes, need lasik to make 4, and if its screwed up somehow, its all over. I can say thats really the one thing i fear the most (aside from dissapointing people) is going blind. I dont know what i'd do.

I really have no feeling today. Its just a mesh of good and bad. AP was bad, My dad is getting divorced again, i got decent progress on my drawing, the year is almost over...I'm not sure how to feel. Im not sure if i'm really feeling at all... Its just a strange feeling, i really have no emotion at the moment. I just want something to make me feel, i really miss it (i dont count missing as a feeling in this case). I hear my thouhts just streaming through my head, 5 at a time (stuck in multitask mode), and it has no effect on me.
Hmm...It kind of makes me wonder.

Im not sad, so this isnt really a depressing post, but its more of a dark abyss of complexity.

EDIT: Heres what i have as far as the drawing. Sorry if it resizes your window or something (56K/DIALUP USER WARNING)


K.D.H.